Okay I know that this blog is supposed to be more about losing weight and dieting but let me just rant and let out all this stress.
I’m currently a first year medical student. It’s already near the end of the second semester, specifically there are only 2 modules left. We started the second-to-the-last module and just 1 week in, I am tired. It’s only Tuesday and I’m freakin’ tired. I even had a 5 day break before Monday but nope, already exhausted. The current module, Neuroanatomy, is said to be one of the hardest modules in first year med – and I agree. Not that the topics are hard to understand or our professor is bad at teaching, it’s just that there’s too much information. Each day from 8am to 12 pm there’s lectures. There’s so many new terms and so many things to understand in such a short span of time and I literally feel my brain getting full. Halfway through the lectures, there’s this point where you just stop absorbing information and just write down what the teacher says hoping to understand them later. I expected medical to be hard but I’m just really tired.
Tired? Burnt-out? Oh God please no. It’s too early for me to be burnt-out. I still have 10 years of training, heck a lifetime of education ahead of me. I don’t know if I just really need to relax or if I really am not meant to do this. If I were to be honest, I feel so confused. Not just about the lectures, but about myself. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel like I’m the only one who’s struggling. I feel like all of of my colleagues are so dedicated, motivated, and passionate about medicine. I sometimes feel like I don’t belong. I don’t know if it’s just me resisting to this path (both parents are doctors, also Asian – so typically “you shall be doctah!” situation) or I just need some time to adjust. Don’t get me wrong. I am interested about medicine and the sciences. I would also love to have the ability to help people and save patient’s lives. It’s just that I feel that there’s no spark. Am I just being too immature? Maybe I’m just lost.
Oh well, gotta get back to studying. Hope I can be productive tonight.
P.S. Regarding my weight loss journey, I’m doing good! Ate granola flakes + almond milk for breakfast; stir-fried mushroom + steamed broccoli and carrots for lunch, and homemade salsa + chips for dinner. Aaand leftover brownie cheesecake thing for dessert (there’s still half of it, control them calories!) + half a donut hole. Won’t be able to exercise tonight because I’m too tired and I need to use the time to study. Argh.
Note to self (and to you, dear reader): Don’t give up! You can rest/ take a break, but never ever give up!