Today started out okay, but by now it’s kinda crappy. Lot’s of lectures this morning until the afternoon. I was able to absorb and understand more information today and I thought everything was doing great. I was feeling motivated and the momentum to study was through-the-roof! I was planning to buy some textbooks so I can study better (pdfs don’t really work for me, I need something I can feel, you know?) but the thing is the bookstore was far away and I needed to go there by taxi. So tried to get a taxi using the GrabTaxi Application. I waited and waited but NOBODY WOULD ACCEPT ME (woah, I just had a mini teenage angst/drama flashback there). I started to get irritated, the extremely hot weather was not helping out on my exponentially decreasing patience either.
I was tired, I was getting sweaty and stinky, and worst of all, I was hungry.
Right then and there, I had the urge to buy fastfood. I felt crappy and all I wanted was to drown my sorrows in some greasy fried chicken, burgers, and fries. That’s my biggest problem in this weight loss journey – Emotional eating. Food was always my solution -Happy? Let’s celebrate with food! Sad? Just eat your feelings away! Angry? I hate this day so much let’s just eat this cake to feel better! See how my brain works? Food was my escape. But the thing is, I shouldn’t use food as an escape. In fact, I shouldn’t escape at all. Eating my feelings won’t solve anything – it would actually make things worse! By doing that, I now have, not only emotion-inducing problems, but also some weight problems as well! I needed to learn to control my urges to cope up with emotions through food. I needed to face problems head-on. Escaping should not be an option.
I am proud to say that I fought off my urges. I just bought some coffee and bread to help me with my studying tonight and went home. I cooked a healthy meal – mushroom & bell pepper stir fry and steamed veggies. I made a lot of food so that I could also bring some for lunch tomorrow and a healthy dinner meal on-standby. I’m so happy – and this time I’m not gonna get some food to celebrate, the feeling of accomplishment is enough.