I don’t know how I come across in this blog, but in real life I am an introvert. I am comfortable in travelling, watching movies, shopping, and eating out on my own. It’s like my “me time” – a time to reflect, a time to relax. I like to take long walks and explore every nook and cranny of the neighborhood. I like feeling the thrill (and sometimes anxiousness) of not knowing what I’ll experience/ discover in my adventure.
To be clear, I do have friends. I have lot’s of friends, close friends, (and even best friends) that I met during high school and college. I also have a new set of friends in medical school. I like hanging-out, having silly and heart-to-heart conversations, and going on adventures with them. I just love being with good company.
However being an introvert, hanging out with a lot of people sucks the energy out of me. I do enjoy it, but I feel tired afterwards. Unlike extroverts who gain energy when surrounding by people, introverts like me get drained. For me, there needs to be a balance of “me time” and “with-other-people-time”. I can manage to have company 24/7, 6 days out of the week, but you need to give me one whole day to recharge and enjoy my solitude.
I just love the feeling of being in control and being able to do anything you want! I LOVE THE FREEDOM! When you’re travelling or making decisions by yourself, there’s no one to think about/ worry about and no one to stop you.
The problem is, recently, I’ve been isolating myself too much. I think that since I’m stressed from medical school and I already spend so much time with my friends (classes are from 8am to 5pm), I just shut down by the time classes end. I’ll reject their offers to hangout or eat together after class. Sometimes, I’ll even purposely take a longer route home just to avoid making small talk with people going in the same direction. I know that it’s not really healthy for my social life and I really won’t meet any new people (boyfriend, where art thou?) but there are just times when I .. I just can’t.
My Resting-Bitch-Face or RBF doesn’t help either. Since I don’t socialize that much, people would be surprised that I’m actually friendly, wild, and silly when they talk to me. I have to constantly readjust my face and put effort to smile a little more so people wouldn’t misunderstand that I’m really not planning a plot to execute them.
The point is, I do try – but I think I need to try a little harder. (This is for you, my future lover! Don’t be scared of my RBF! Hahaha)