Hot damn it’s almost been a month since my last entry. I’ve been busy with medical school and with shits life throws at me hence, no entries.
BUT the good news is, MY FIRST YEAR I MEDICAL SCHOOL IS OVER!! *cue balloons, party music, BRING OUT THE CAKE*
I can’t believe it. Time went by so fast! I can remember the first time I wore my medical school uniform. I wore my white pants and buttoned up my white blouse. I then looked at my reflection and thought to myself, “I can’t breathe.” It was not because of the excitement or the anxiousness. Or that seeing myself in full uniform took my breath away. It was because I literally could not breathe since my uniform was too tight.
Not a good way to start medical school.
Turns out the school hired new tailors/ seamstresses this year and they messed up all the dimensions of our uniforms. We were all complaining about it but there were some absurd uniforms that gave us quite the laugh. One classmate of mine complained hers was too sexy. Turns out hers had a deep, plunging neckline and showed too much of her goodies. Another classmate said that when he tried fitting it on, he looked like the after photo in the biggest loser – his clothes were too baggy!
Of course we hurdled that minor problem and started the real challenge. My life revolved around piles of transes (notes), expensive medical books, and late night existential breakdowns. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone stabbed me and coffee would start spewing out instead of blood.
I went through all of those moments (admittedly not-so-gracefully) but what matters is, I did it! I had my doubts but I managed to grit my teeth and plow through. I learned so much this year compared to all my college years. All the information was overwhelming and mind-boggling but it all of it was brilliant. Our body is so amazing that you’ll just be in awe of the processes it is capable of. From performing the normal bodily functions to the stresses of defending it against pathogens, sometimes you would just stop in awe and think that only God can create something this complicatedly beautiful.
To all those incoming first year medical students out there, I would like to share with you a quote that kept me going. A doctor once told our class “Medical school is a marathon, pace yourselves”. Don’t grind yourself too hard. It’s not about studying hard but studying smart. It’s not about always being in the top of the class but actually learning and understanding the lessons. We’re all just humans and we too, have limitations. Don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t memorize every little detail of a organ system or a specific disease. Knowing all of this will take time, and that’s what medical school is for. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. In fact, in medical school we say, make all the mistakes you want! It’s better to make mistakes and learn from it now than when you’re already in front of a patient with his/her life on the line.
With every failure and with every disappointment, just cry little (or even a lot!), accept it, and move on. You were chosen by your school because you had potential. Believe in yourself.